Wednesday, December 08, 2004

All Aboard !!!!

OK its official; want to secure a spot on the train to loser-ville? Date a girl you work with. Have you ever had a friend that you get a long with really great? Everyone thinks your dating, or you should be dating? But you’re not? And you think to yourself that “yeah she’s/he’s great but for whatever reason I just know it wouldn’t work out…? Well that’s where Angie and I were, except that Angie was thinking different than me. She wanted to date me… biggest regret she has ever had - I’m sure of it.

Few things that you should know before I go any further.

· Angie is a great girl, she really is. She’s attractive, smart, great sense of humor and a lot of fun to be around.
· We had a great friendship for a few year’s (strictly platonic) before it all went soo terribly wrong.
· I had pledged to several of my friends on the train that I would never, ever date her (more on this later).
· If you could get insurance companies to insure your relationships, I would be red flagged and completely un-insurable – I wear it like a badge of honor

Angie and I had been friends for a few years and working at the same company for only a few months (I recruited her, monumental mistake). I had relocated to the same office she worked at about a year ago – and we “kicked” off our relationship at last year’s Christmas party… god help me. Now if you’re thinking this is your typical “hey I’m single and it’s the holidays I’m gonna hook up with my co-worker”… wrong. If you’re thinking (like me) more along the lines of “It’s the holidays and I think I’ll pretend to act like a normal person (only because you’ve temporarily forgot that you’re a relationship disaster waiting to happen), and hook up with my co worker, only to regret it dearly within 5 weeks time” … than you’re right on the money!

We were at a bar in Philly, it was the night of our company Christmas party. Angie and I were sober (only because we sat at the table with our company president and his wife – not ideal drinking conditions), meeting up with a couple of my fellow crewmembers here on the “Train To Loser-Ville”. Now here’s a incredibly important “Event Horizon” (a point in time when something happens that triggers a course of events that cant be altered – just cant be stopped).

I have to take you back to a conversation that I had with Marco on the phone a few months before this “Event Horizon”. I was talking to Marco (and I now remember this explicitly) and I said, “If I ever date Angie I want you to shoot me.” It was a charter I had given him - I told him that if I dated her it would be equivalent to committing emotional suicide (I was right). Now, because I was trying my best to act like a normal person, I had forgotten this conversation I had with Marco, does he remind me of it? No he doesn’t. Nor does my other crewmember in attendance Ray (who by this time as been made aware of Marcos charter to shoot me if I dated Angie). I tell them that Angie and I are heading out for a couple of drinks, sure they smirk & giggle, but neither of them pulls out the “pistol” and reminds me of Marcos charter… they just heap more coal in the furnace on the “Train To Loser-Ville”… I hadn’t seen them dump coal in the furnace like that since trying to make it to Iberville before the shift change (more on that another day) – full steam ahead!!!

So Angie and head out, have a few drinks and I open up the conversation… one thing leads to another… its 2am and we’re making out on her couch… Over the course of the next five weeks we spend a lot of time together (too much really), we have a good time, I commit a few relationship atrocities like brining her over to my sisters for dinner to meet my family (she does the same), and make plans with her in the spring to take a vacation. But as time goes on - slowly I start to come unraveled, pretty soon I’m realizing what I got myself into, and how I’m gonna get out.

The relationship runs out of steam in about 5 weeks, which in hindsight is pretty good for me. I’ve been in relationships where its taken months to get out, hell when I was in my twenties it took years… you never get that time back… hopefully as you get older you figure things out a little quicker than when you were just a kid. You make your choices sooner; you know what you want in a relationship and what your capabilities are to fulfill them. For this one it was pretty easy to know I couldn’t measure up pretty quickly, and I got out, but one thing you can never control is how the other person feels as a result.

Angies not going to the Christmas party this year, and she’s been aggressively looking for a new job... All in all I screwed it up pretty good. She walks by my office every day; I’d say lately she’ll acknowledge me 25% of the time. The conversations are few and far in between, when we do talk I always walk away feeling that I annoyed her. When she’s cold with a sweater on, I’m hot turning down the heat and vice a versa.

I can hear the whistle in the distance on the “Train To Loser-Ville”, its getting louder and Marco & Ray could use some help at the controls.



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